


mortality

by ImJustPassingThrough



Series: i'm a warlock! — Ryan Bergara [3]
Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Bewitched - Freeform, Dysfunctional Family, Family Drama, Family Issues, Food, M/M, Magic, Ryan Bergara Loves Shane Madej, Shane Madej Loves Ryan Bergara, Warlock Ryan Bergara, Witch Ryan Bergara, powers, spells
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:28:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28218492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImJustPassingThrough/pseuds/ImJustPassingThrough
Summary: Shane's family meet Ryan, as Shane's boyfriend. And Aunt Clara is there too.
Relationships: Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej
Series: i'm a warlock! — Ryan Bergara [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2063709
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	mortality

**Author's Note:**

> This is heavily inspired by the American Television Series 'Bewitched'.
> 
> It should be known this doesn't follow the 'stereotypical witch and warlock' sense, nor does it follow Wiccan's, Pagan's, or modern day Witchcraft.

Ryan paced, fixing everything in Shane's house the mortal way. Here's a recap; Ryan's a Warlock trying to live the Mortal way, and Shane is a Mortal who doesn't care Ryan is a Warlock, in fact he encourages it, he even takes all the hate the Beregara's give him for being a Mortal. Onto now, Ryan was meeting Shane's family, Sherry, Mark and Scott, of course when he means meet, he means meet as his boyfriend. And, he's scared. He was meeting them at Shane's house, and he had cooked a meal, the mortal way, a chicken and mushroom pie. He'd love to have made steak, or maybe a shrimp risotto, and maybe a pineapple upside down cake. But, alas... He's stuck with something simple. He can't cook to begin with, so the Mortal way of cooking made his life ten times harder.

A loud crash sounded at the fireplace, and he looked over, seeing an old woman, with short ginger hair, crazy blue eye shadow, and in a black dress, with some kind of animal scarf and hat, and an umbrella in one hand. He smiled, "Aunt Clara?"

The woman, Aunt Clara, looked up and smiled, "R-Ryan..." She got up, and stumbled over with a large smile. She immediately wrapped Ryan into a hug, and smiled, kissing his cheeks, "look at y-you..."

"It's so good to see you!" Ryan grinned, kissing her cheeks softly.

"I've-I've missed you..." Aunt Clara smiled, and Ryan led him to the sofa, "oh! We are going to have such a- such a- such a good weekend!"

Ryan frowned, and looked to Aunt Clara, "weekend?"

"Yes." Aunt Clara smiled, "remember? That offer to-to-to um, uh, spend a weekend with you and Shay?" Aunt Clara mispronounced, and she did that accidentally, "where is that mortal boyfriend of yours?" She smiled.

Ryan smiled nervously, "well, you see... Shane is out, and is picking his family up. They're spending the weekend too..."

Aunt Clara's smile disappeared, "oh, oh, I'm sorry..." She got up, "oh, I'll go."

Ryan took her hands, "now, Aunt Clara, let me just call Shane... Okay? I'm sure there's plenty of room..."

Aunt Clara frowned, "but, well... Last time this ha-happened, it went wrong... Remember...? D-Darwood and Samantha." She stuttered.

Ryan sighed, he does remember that, Aunt Clara had come through the chimney, and stayed with the two and Darrin's family. She had said Sam and her were witches, talked about her doorknob collection, changed Sam's meals, and Darrin told her to stop. She left, and they argued. It was hectic. Of course, Mrs. Stevens agreed with Samantha and liked her after admitting she couldn't cook. It was... An up and down thing. He kissed her cheek, "let me call Shane, because Shane isn't Darrin."

Aunt Clara sighed, "okay... B-but if you need me to leave, I'll leave..."

Ryan nodded, "okay... Where's your bag?" He asked, realising she had no bag.

"Oh, i-it wasn't ready when-when I was... And so-so... I left it, a good punishment..." Aunt Clara smiled, patting his cheek.

Ryan laughed, wheezing slightly, "let me call Shane..." He picked up his phone, and called Shane, who was now called _Sasquatch_ in his contacts.

_"Hey little guy, what's up?"_

Ryan smiled, and bit his lip, "hello honey. Uh, guess who's joined for the weekend..."

There was a pause, _"... Please... Not your mother... I love you, but your mother is somebody different."_

Ryan shrugged with a chuckle, "don't worry, it's not my Mom... It's my Aunt Clara..."

Shane sounded happy, _"oh! Why's that bad? From what I remember, she's lovely!"_

"Well, she is... But, she's hoping to spend the weekend." Ryan smiled, nervous.

_"Great! The more the merrier, I like her!"_ Shane assured.

Ryan took a shaky inhale, "look, Aunt Clara... Aunt Clara is an old witch, she can't do spells like she used to... And, she always means well, but she does things that don't end well..." Ryan explained, "and last time something like this happened, Darrin got upset, and therefore upset her... And I'm warning you Shane, if you upset my Aunt Clare, I'll never forgive you..."

_"Ryan, I promise. Keep her there, there's a spare room she can stay in."_

Ryan smiled, "thank you, Shane..."

_"Alright, I have to go..."_ Shane said, _"I love you..."_

Ryan smiled, eyes soft, "I love you too..." Shane hung up. Ryan looked to Aunt Clara, and offered his hand, "come along, Shane's got a spare room..."

Aunt Clara smiled, and took his hand, "o-okay..." The two walked off, but she stopped, "oh..." The door opened, and a hideous carpet bag flew in and up the stairs. "T-there we go..." Ryan chuckled and took her upstairs.

~~~~~

Shane pulled up into the airport, and walked in. He smiled, seeing his parents and brother standing there, "Mom, Dad! Scott!" He rushed over.

Sherry rushed over, and immediately swept Shane into a hug, "oh, Shane, honey! Look at you!" Shane hugged her.

"Yeah, he looks good, doesn't he!" Smiled Mark.

Sherry looked to Mark in shock, "what?! How could you say that? Look how pale, and skinny he is!"

Scott rolled his eyes, "how's Ryan? I always thought you two would end up together!" He clapped his brothers shoulder with a smile.

Shane laughed, and looked down, he looked to Scott, and whispered, "you're the only one I trust to make Ryan feel comfortable..."

Scott smiled, nodding, and whispered back, "you got it..."

"I should warn you all, Ryan's Aunt Clara is staying too." Shane smiled, "you'll love her, she's lovely!"

Sherry gave a wary smile, "oh... Is she?"

Shane nodded, smiling, "yes! Her, and Ryan's cousin Samantha have made me feel welcome!"

Scott grinned, "will we meet them?"

"Well, Samantha pops in from time to time..." Shane grinned, having an inside joke with himself.

"Have you met his parents?" Mark asked, hands in his pockets.

Shane's smile fell and turned into a grimace, "sadly, I have..."

Scott frowned, "what? They're not good?"

"You'd never understand..." Shane sighed, and looked over to the conveyor belt, "I see your things... Scott, help me out."

"Alright..." Scott grinned, and the two walked off.

Sherry watched with a frown, "poor Shane..."

Mark rolled his eyes, "poor Shane? Shane's the picture of health!"

"Well, Ryan doesn't know Shane like I know Shane! Just watch, it'll be terrible!"

~~~~~

Ryan shook Mark and Scott's hands, "nice to see you both."

"You too Ryan!" Scott grinned, pulling Ryan into a bro hug, "always knew you two would end up together!"

Mark smiled, "heard your Aunt Clara was here too!"

Shane's smile widened, "where is she?"

Sherry was sneering, "yes, where is this Aunt Clara?"

Ryan smiled, "Aunt Clara! You can come down!"

Shane was practically bouncing, and he saw the old woman walk downstairs, swaying slightly, "oh-oh Shay!" She stumbled over.

Shane didn't correct her, how could he? She was this lovely woman who only meant well, "hi Aunt Clara!" He kissed her cheek, and hugged her, bending over to hold her.

Aunt Clara smiled, patting his cheek, "o-oh it's l-lovely to see you again! This-this must be your p-p-parents!"

"Yes, this is my mother Sherry, my father Mark, and my brother Scott..." Shane introduced, smiling, pointing to each one.

Aunt Clara stared at Scott and smirked playfully, "my, my... I-If... I-i-if I was a th-thousand years younger, I-I'd ruin you..."

Scott and Shane paused, then laughed, and soon Mark joined in with the laughter. Scott kissed her cheek, "thank you! If I was single, I'd say the same about you!" He teased, and Aunt Clara flushed, giggling.

Sherry looked mortified, but Ryan smiled, "come along Clara, it's not the year nine thirty anymore! Men aren't used to beauty's like you being flirty!" Clara smiled and giggled, and Ryan took Clara to the kitchen.

Scott smiled, and then frowned in confusion, "a thousand years younger?"

"The year nine thirty?" Mark also asked.

Sherry looked to Shane, "Shane, I don't wish to upset you, but... Ryan and Clara seem... Mentally unstable..."

Shane stood back, blank looking, "I'm sorry?"

"It's just..." Sherry sighed, "well, he's obviously not well if he's encouraging his sick Aunt to lie about her age..."

Shane backed up more, "mother!"

"What? I'm just saying, he's a lot different then the last time I saw him... A bad different." Sherry said.

Mark rolled his eyes, "Sherry, Ryan is wonderful!"

"And Aunt Clara is lovely, she's adorable!" Scott defended.

Sherry looked to Shane, "I'm just saying dear, that you could do better!"

Shane frowned and crossed his arms, "how dare you! I like Ryan, just the way he is. Funny, quirky, and his own person!" Was this how Ryan felt when defending him against his mother? He looked to his brother and father, "do you mind going to Ryan? Just in the kitchen, so that way I can talk to Mom?"

Scott nodded, "of course..." He smiled at Shane, and walked off.

Mark shook his head, disapproving of Sherry, "Sherry, you go easy on Ryan when you see him again, I like that boy." He walked off.

"Look, all I'm saying is, that he's a superstitious man. He's... Strange..." Sherry said, "and, he's become stranger since you've started dating him, and met his family."

"No, it's just the way he is!" Shane snapped, "he's not strange! He's Ryan! And don't you dare insult Clara!"

Clara watched from the kitchen and looked to Mark and Scott, smiling, "oh, I-I'm so glad you don't-don't m-mind!" Ryan had gone to feed Obi.

Scott looked over, confused, "mind what?"

"Well, I'm a witch!" Aunt Clara smiled.

Mark frowned, but then chuckled, "a witch?"

Aunt Clara nodded, "yes! And Ryan's a warlock!"

Scott smiled and laughed, "oh yeah?"

"Oh, yes! The entire family!" Smiled Aunt Clara, and Ryan walked in, "isn't that right R-R-Ryan!"

Ryan looked over, "is what, right?"

"That you're a warlock, and I'm a witch!" Smiled Clara.

Ryan glanced to Scott and Mark in worry, who were laughing, and so, he nervously join in laughing, "ah, yes! I'm a warlock! An inside joke!"

Scott nudged him, "good to know you have a sense of humour still!" Ryan shrugged, laughing.

Sherry walked in with a judgemental scowl on her face, and looked around, noting how little food there was, "so, Ryan... What's for dinner? Steak? Risotto? Duck breast?... Pork Tenderloin?"

With each suggestion, Ryan grew smaller, shrinking in on himself, smile fading, "oh... Uh, well..."

"How about dessert?" Sherry asked, hands folded, challengingly, "pineapple upside down cake? Crème brûlée? Sticky toffee pudding?"

Ryan felt sick, all he made was chicken and mushroom pie, and chocolate cake, "well..."

Shane walked in, and wrapped his arms around Ryan's waist, "chicken and mushroom pie, and chocolate cake. That's what was made, Mom."

Sherry grimaced, "oh, how lovely."

Was this how Shane felt when his mother berated him? Small, sick, insignificant. Ryan tried to explain, "I would have made something more exotic, but I'm not a very good cook..."

"Good," Sherry smiled, nodding, "what I mean is; Is I can help you. Give you a few of my recipes."

Ryan smiled, politely, "thank you, that's very nice..."

Shane rolled his eyes, "mother, I like Ryan's food."

"Of course you do..." Sherry grimaced.

Mark smiled, and nudged Sherry, "Sherry, you can't cook pork, or steak."

Scott wrapped an arm around Ryan, "come on, I wanna show you the game."

"The-the... The g-g-g-game?" Aunt Clara stuttered, confused.

Shane chuckled, "don't worry Aunt Clara, I don't understand it either." He watched with a smile, as Ryan relaxed, happily walking off with his brother. He looked to his mother and father, "Mom, Dad..."

Sherry looked down, "I only worry, dear..."

"Well, you have nothing to worry about!" Mark defended Ryan, "he's been looking after Shane, look at him! He's healthy!"

Shane smirked to himself, _you have no idea..._

Sherry sighed, "Shane dear, please show me our room..."

"Lets go..." Shane led his parents out, smiling to Aunt Clara who nodded, smiling.

Aunt Clara looked to Ryan's pie, and cake. She went over, and took the lid off. She closed her eyes, "oh, oh... I-I hope I still, still... Uh, still remember this..." She held out her right hand, and pointed her index and middle finger, and waved her hand in a circle, and in place of the pie was duck breast. She flicked her hand to the dessert, and it changed to pineapple upside down cake. She giggled, and rubbed her hands together, put the lids on. She walked out with a smile.

~~~~~  
  


Shane held Ryan, "I'm sorry about my parents..."

"Is this how you feel? With my mother?" Ryan asked, frowning.

Shane sighed, "I'm now understanding how you feel, defending me against your folks..."

"Well..."

Shane frowned, "well, what?"

"Well... You've yet to meet my Grandfather..." Ryan sighed, "and he's the worst..."

"How so...?" Shane asked, smiling confused.

Ryan sighed, "if he finds out I'm dating a mortal, he'll..." He waved his hand and a vase exploded.

Shane blinked, and looked to Ryan, pale. He shrugged, "well... If my Grandma finds out I'm dating, period, she'll... She'll Axe Man you..."

"Oh, good..." Smiled Ryan, "at least we both have messed up families?"

Shane smiled, "good..." He leaned down, and kissed Ryan, their lips soft, fitting together gently. Ryan chuckled against his lips, smiling.

Sherry walked in, pausing, seeing her son and Ryan kissing. She crossed her arms, and coughed slightly, making the two pull away. Sherry huffed, "when's the meal?"

"Oh, it should be ready now..." Ryan smiled, uneasily.

~~~~~

The family sat at the table, as Ryan picked up the platter, and set it in the middle of the table. Shane watched Ryan is silent awe, how could he not? He took the lid off the platter, and paused.

Mark smiled, "I thought you said it was Chicken and Mushroom Pie!"

Ryan and Shane stared in shock, eyes wide. They looked to each other in a silent conversation.

Shane raised an eyebrow as if to say, _did you do this, honey?_

Ryan shook his head, eyes wide as if to say, _I didn't do this, dear. You know I'm giving it up._ He looked to the table to see Aunt Clara smiling proudly, and Ryan couldn't help but smile as well.

"I thought you said you wasn't good at cooking..." Sherry said, staring Ryan down, annoyed.

Ryan shuffled, smiling, but nervous now, "well... I'm still learning?"

"O-o-oh, wait-wait until you see what's for dessert!" Aunt Clara smiled, proudly. Shane caught on after that, and his his smile behind his glass.

"Go on, Ryan!" Smiled Mark, "what's for dessert?"

Ryan set the lid down, chewing his lip, "maybe it better be a surprise?"

Aunt Clara grinned, "why, it's p-p-pineapple upside down-down cake!"

Mark looked to Sherry with a grin, "I guess you didn't have anything to worry about, Sherry!"

Sherry pursed her lips together, "I guess not..."

~~~~~

Shane helped Ryan clean up, and smiled, "I love Aunt Clara..."

"Yeah, but, your mother hates me." Ryan sighed, drying the plates, "this is karma."

"She still has a few spells in her..." Smiled Shane, and kissed Ryan's cheek, "don't worry, my Dad and Scott love you!"

Ryan smiled, "I'm glad someone likes me..."

"Feeling is very much mutual with Sam and Aunt Clara." Shane assured, as they put the plates away.

Ryan looked down, "I'm sorry about my Aunt Clara..."

"Don't be, I love her!" Smiled Shane, and then frowned, "you know I wouldn't mind magic and spells, but with my parents here..."

Ryan frowned, there it is. The negative mortal part coming out, "I'm sorry... I'll go talk to her."

Shane took his hand, "I'll go." He saw Ryan's worried face, and gently kissed him, "I'll be careful..."

Ryan smiled slightly, "okay. But Shane, I meant it. If you upset my Aunt Clara, I'll never forgive you..."

"Don't worry, the last thing I want to do is upset Clara." Shane assured, and walked out. Ryan sighed, and started putting things away.

~~~~~

Shane knocked on the door to Aunt Clara's room, and walked in, "hello?" He smiled, seeing the old and friend woman cleaning door knobs.

Aunt Clara looked up from a gold door knob, "oh, hello-hello, Sh-Sh-Shay!"

Shane sat on the bed, and grinned, "what are you doing?"

"O-oh, I'm just cleaning my-my-my door knob collection!" Aunt Clara smiled, setting a door knob down, and picked another up.

Shane smiled, "it's a lovely collection..." He frowned, and looked down, he hated doing this. He was never the one to stifle Ryan's family from using magic, and any other time he would be fine with it, but his family are mortals, they are too strict, sceptics, they'd never believe them, and it would scare them... Well, maybe not Scott... "Aunt Clara..."

"I've had this door knob the longest..." Aunt Clara smiled, holing up a rickety door knob.

"Thank you for the meal today, but my parents aren't used to magic..." Shane said, nervously.

Aunt Clara smiled, and set down the door knob, and picked up another, and began cleaning it, "I love door knobs..."

"And I think it would be best if you held back on magic, just for this weekend..." Shane finished, riddled with guilt.

Aunt Clara looked up, and smiled, "oh, thank you for coming to see my door knob collection!"

Shane blinked, and smiled tensely, "I really like them... I have to get going..." He kissed Aunt Clara's cheek, got up and left through the door.

Aunt Clara slowly stopped smiling, and looked to her bag, "come along bag, I've over stayed my time..."

~~~~~

"Well, how'd she take it?" Ryan asked quietly, biting his lip in worry.

Shane shrugged, "she seems alright..." He wrapped his arms around Ryan's waist, and rested his chin on his head, "today's been a long day."

"It really has." Ryan agreed, leaning into Shane's chest, and wrapping his arms around his neck.

Sherry walked in with a tense smile, "oh, Ryan, do you need any help with the dishes?"

Shane smiled, "it's alright, it's all been dealt with Mom."

Sherry frowned, and nodded, "oh, okay... You sure you don't need any help?"

"I'm sure, thank you though." Ryan smiled.

Scott rushed in with a smile, "do we have anymore of that cake, Ry?" He grinned.

"oh, yeah, of course..." Smiled Ryan, and went to get a plate.

Shane stopped him, and smiled, "I'll get a plate, you go get my Dad, see if he wants any..."

Ryan nodded, "of course, I'll see if Aunt Clara ants any too." He kissed Shane's cheek, and went off. Shane smiled, and reached up to get a few plates.

Sherry shook her head with a small frown, "Shane, I love you... So much, but did you have to go for Ryan?"

Shane frowned, and opened his mouth, but Mark walked in and scoffed, "oh, don't start this again."

Sherry turned and looked to Mark, "what? I'm just being honest!"

"Mom, Ryan is the best! Nobody could take better care of Shane!" Scott defended Ryan.

"I just worry!" Sherry defended.

Shane rolled his eyes, "Mom, me and Ryan are amazing! Nothing will go wrong! Ryan is the best, and now you're just looking for issues!" Ryan rushed in with an umbrella, and Shane smiled, "hi honey—"

Ryan glared, and had tears in his eyes, "oh, Shane! How could you!"

Shane frowned, "what? How could I what?!"

"Aunt Clara left! Aunt Clara left because of you!" Ryan yelled, "what did you say to her!?" Shane went to speak, but Ryan cut him off, "don't! All she was trying to do was help with the meal!"

Sherry's eyes widened, "wait... Aunt Clara made dinner?"

Ryan looked down, and nodded, "that's right... To be honest, I can't cook and I'm still learning. Aunt Clara swapped the meals on me, and all she was doing was helping me. I... I hope you're not angry..."

Sherry's eyes widened and smiled, "oh, Ryan! I'm so happy! I'm just a silly old mother, and I don't want to become useless to Shane, and even Scott! I just want to help, and to see you be the perfect man, cooking and cleaning... I thought I'd be push to the side..." Sherry admitted, and looked down, ashamed. She looked up, and looked to Shane sternly, "what did you say to that poor woman!"

Shane's eyes widened, guilt ridden, "I didn't—"

"Quiet!" Sherry snapped, and looked to Ryan, "do you know where she is?"

Ryan nodded, "she's at the bus stop, I asked her umbrella!"

Shane nodded, and kissed Ryan's cheek, "I'll go get her!" He rushed off.

Scott watched his brother with a gentle smile, and then frowned, looking at Ryan, "you asked her umbrella?" Sherry and Mark looked to him confused as well.

Ryan frowned, and looked to the umbrella, and smiled, "I'm a warlock!" The three giggled, and laughed. Ryan smiled, and nodded, "yeah, but, don't tell anyone!"

"Oh, don't worry! We won't!" Smiled Sherry, and Mark and Scott laughed.

~~~~~

Scott and Shane sat on the sofa, and Sherry sat on the chair. Ryan sat on the floor, and Aunt Clare, now back, sat on the sofa in between the mortals. Mark rushed over with a deck of cards, "Aunt Clara!" He spread the cars in a fan, "pick a card, any card, but don't show me!" He looked away, eyes closed. "Memorise it!"

Aunt Clara smiled, and picked a card. She looked at his, a nine of spades. She showed the others with a smile, and the watched. Ryan and Aunt Clara smiled to each other, and she placed the card back randomly, "o-o-okay..."

Mark opened his eyes, and fiddled through the cards, his smile turning to a confused frown, "this is strange, this usually works."

"You'll-you'll find it in your top pocket..." Aunt Clara smiled, and they watched as Mark reached into his top pocket, and pulled out the card. Shane and Ryan grinned to each other.

Mark smiled, "hey, how'd you do that?"

Aunt Clara's eyes widened with a smile, "I'm a witch!"

Ryan chuckled, and moved onto Shane's lap and Shane held him, as he small family laughed.


End file.
